Where am I going?
I am going deeper.  I am going places that hold meaning for me. I am finding joy, love and connection amidst this broken world.

Broken. What is broken?
Our politics.  Our public safety.  People's connection to their own humanity and the humanity of those around us.  Connection to place. An ability to be present to all that is, has been, and open to what will be.

The police car that is parked in front of my house is a daily reminder of the shootings last week.  Of Lawrence and Billy’s murders. Of the murder that happened last year. His body lay behind a car, out of view and without life. I woke to the gun fire and watched as the first responders embraced and sobbed.  Now my breath stops every time I hear a loud noise; has another life been taken or are kids simply playing? The show of force is supposed to make me feel safer. Instead it reminds me of the many black and brown men and women the police have killed. It reminds me that we systematically respond to fear with force, violence and guns. It reminds me that I can't stay still or silent.

People are dying.

Living in Washington, DC has been particularly painful since the change in administration. The displacement, the poverty, the violence, the racism have always been here, but I can no longer pretend we are on a path of slow, but steady improvement.

I at once feel disconnected from my country, and keenly aware of how we impact one another. I feel distant from, yet so deeply intertwined with, people and places who would vote for an overtly racist, sexist, money hungry, self-absorbed man.  He who now makes decisions for me, my family, my neighbors, our country and our world.

Broken.
Disconnected.
Fragmented.

When I drive away from DC tomorrow I am not leaving all these realities behind, but rather, seeking to integrate them into what awaits.

We are all deeply interconnected. Our current. Our pasts. Our soon to be.

We are all interwoven and tied together.

I am going on a pilgrimage that is about connecting with our humanity and letting us be whole, complicated people.