This is a raw and painful time.
Watching Dr. Ford’s testimony last week was heart wrenching. Her memory of the laughter. The narrow hallway, the bed room. It brought flashes of my own memories.
The rope burning next to my left arm. The stiffness of the tree bark against my back. The rope pinning my arms and legs. Three boys, boys I’d considered friends, circling me. The crazed look in his eyes. The flame burning from the lighter in his hand. The cold, hard metal of scissors that released me before they could do anything more.
Still, they made it clear who was in control. My body was their entertainment.
Another night these same boys tried to coerce me into having sex with them. These memories and more come tumbling through my brain. So many women hold similar and much more haunting memories. We hold the memories and the shame in our bodies.
These stories are so painfully common.
Patriarchy teaches girls to be silent. It teaches boys to be in control.
Kavanaugh's response was to go on the attack mode. It was a clear example of domination logic on display. When feeling threatened, lash out, exert power over others, show control. This approach has worked in America.
Patriarchy, white supremacy, and capitalism do a lockstep dance, holding one another in place in this country and beyond. Exposing and standing on female, black, indigenous, latinx, trans, queer, poor, disabled bodies to maintain power.
Dividing us.
Raping us.
Stripping us of our dignity.
All to keep control in the hands of a few white, elite men like Kavanaugh and Trump. Men who are using an old playbook. Men who have felt entitled since birth. Men who hold tight to the power and wealth accumulated through a history of enslaving, raping, and harming other’s bodies.
But change is in the air.
Rape culture will not go unchecked. Women and men are speaking truth to power.
On the steps of the Supreme Court this week, I could feel the power of the people. People being together. Supporting one another. Believing survivors.
People saying, “NO.”
No more.
We will not be silenced.
We will stand together. Black, brown, white, female, male, trans, native, immigrant, queer, straight. We will listen to one another. We will respond with compassion, love, humility.
Together we speak truth to power.
*Join with others in resistance. Wear black and take action on Black Fridays.
**Thanks to Aaron Goggans and Rebecca Mintz for introducing me to the concept of Domination Logic and teaching an amazing training about Liberation Logic. Their next training is in DC on October 24.