At the end of our road trip we landed on Star Island, a Unitarian Universalist conference center off the coast of New Hampshire. This is the place where Greg and I met and fell in love 15 years ago. It is the place I found my faith and where I continue to uncover what I believe.
Last week I sat on the rocks of Star Island. The salt air tickled my nose. The sun pierced my skin. Rocks held my body, while waves crashed against the hard, sharp earth below. The waves crashed, and crashed, and crashed.
Breaking all sense of control or need for control.
Reminding me that there is so much more than my mind can know.
Reminding me the power of sensing and engaging our senses.
The ocean.
A force so powerful, yet also, soothing and soft like a lullaby.
The vast, open horizon.
Water stretching beyond my ability to see, or even imagine.
It grounds me and gives me perspective.
I am part of this expansive world.
I am so small. A minuscule spec on this grand body.
Yet I sit amidst a web.
Pulling.
Pushing.
Molding all points of contact.
We are interwoven, connected and part of a whole.
We each have choices.
How we occupy our space matters.
These same rocks taught me the power of love.
Many years ago I sat out here journaling and I felt a strong presence of past people who had also surrendered to this place. It made me realize we share ourselves when we open-up and love fully. There is an exchange that happens when people are vulnerable with another or we are fully present and exposed in a place. I believe we live on within the people we love. My grandmother is not only kept alive in my memory, but her love was so fierce that she soaked into my very being. And I believe this can happen with places too.
This is one of many reasons why white supremacy culture is so damaging to white people. In order to be white, we give-up our ancestry and really knowing our history, culture and the lands from which we came and where we stand. We give all this up in exchange for power over others, material wealth and a superficial sense of belonging and as we dehumanize others we lose our own humanity.
Part of my journey is understanding and reclaiming my history and places that have shaped me. I believe that being grounded in who we are and where we come from helps push back against the dominant culture. A culture that works to distance us from ourselves,one another and the earth. A culture that squashes our ability to love fully.
Star Island has profoundly shaped me. It has opened me up to experience some of my greatest joys and gut wrenching pain. I have so much history here. The community is far from perfect. I am far from perfect. Together we can own our imperfections, learn, grow and chart new paths. I choose to bring my full self to this community.
Last week we made a commitment. For the next five years, Greg, Annabelle, Ryan and I will participate in the International Affairs Conference on Star Island. We will be open, vulnerable, raw and real here. We will bring our bodies, minds and spirits to mold and be molded by this place. A place that already has a home deep within each of us.